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March 28, 2022
Yesterday, after going to see Pretty Woman, the Musical, I hurried home to catch the Oscars. I was excited to see how the awards show was being reimagined by a Black producer and all Black production team. Also, I was excited to see the electrifying performance of the hit song from Disney's Encanto, "We don't talk about Bruno." Unfortunately, we still don't talk about Bruno, no, no, no because all the Oscar conversations revolves around "the slap seen all around the world."
I am not here today to give my thoughts about the incident. However, I do want to talk about something that came to mind, the importance of being emotionally intelligent. Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Over the last 15 years, I've been fascinated by emotional intelligence. I've been fortunate to spend time learning from those who are experts in the topic. People who are emotionally intelligent have the capacity for recognizing their own emotions and those of others. They engage in a number of habits and behaviors that contribute to their ability to manage emotions well in themselves and their relationships. Those who lack emotional intelligence...well, dysfunction can show up in their personal and professional lives.
Emotional intelligence has been considered one of the strongest indicators of high performance. Goleman says, “By teaching people to tune in to their emotions with intelligence and to expand their circles of caring, we can transform organizations from the inside out and make a positive difference in our world.” You can apply these words to your life, too. If you are in tune with your emotions, you can transform your life from the inside out and make a positive difference in the world.
One of the skills that make up emotional intelligence is self-management. In the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, self-management is the ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively.
Self-management builds upon the foundation of self-awareness. This critical skill refers to the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, thoughts, or actions, and see if they align with your internal standards. To become self-awareness, it requires you to “know thyself” so that you can best choose how to react to your emotions. "When you understand your own emotions and can respond the way you choose to them, you have the power to take control of difficult situations, react to change and take initiative to achieve goals."(Emotional Intelligence 2.0)
I don't know anyone who can say they haven't been in a position where they have acted out of character. None of us are perfect. But I would hope as we continue on this journey called life, that we learn how to better manage ourselves.
Here are 5 self-management strategies to consider to avoid what we saw happen at the Oscars.
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Prioritize your well-being. Take care of yourself. Find ways to decompress and release anything that's not serving you.
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Surround self with positivity. Keep yourself and your emotions in a good place. Find your joy. Practice gratitude.
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Manage your stress. Breath deeply. Meditate. Center yourself. Connect with others. Exercise. Take care of you.
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Focus on the end goal. What is it that you hope to gain? What's the best way to achieve it?
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Starve your ego. Let go of your ego. “The Ego is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.” – Deepak Chopra.
It is important for you as the leader in your life to be emotionally intelligent because lack of it can show up in damaging, harmful ways...for you, someone else or the organization where you work.